"A straight person gone gay"

I just would like to start this blog post with saying that I love everything about my decision to finally be who I truly feel I am, how I am design and what I do with my life. The things that I have heard from eavesdropping or just people saying this in conversation to me has been shocking.
The term, "Straight person gone gay" or things similar just makes me sick. Like I am choosing to be Gay. I love how our world is so focused on choices. We have a choice to wake up and get out of bed, we have the choice to be with who we want to be with, we get to choose what coffee we drink, and we also get to "choose" whether we are gay or not... I'm sorry, for this one... I guarantee this does not fall under that same category.
I have had a couple individuals ask me about why I chose to be gay. Why I am choosing to be with another man, and why I chose to leave my last girlfriend. All questions, but yet I am set back with how insensitive they are to the subject.
I have felt that I was gay from at least the age of 10, maybe 11. I had had encounters with my cousins and with friends that introduced me to porn, or what-not during those ages. I took an interest in males around that time when I was friends with my one friend, Jesse. We used to watch porn with each other and it ended up with us just being really close in that sense. I knew that I liked boys but I didn't want to say anything because I was too afraid to lose all my friends, and have everyone turn their back on me. What startles me the most is that while growing up in highschool I forced myself to date girls, to "like" girls so that I would be normal. This time of my life really messed with my head and I ended up going into a spiral of distrust, disheartening, and depression. I was literally lying to myself to make myself look more desirable, to be attracted to this perverted thought of mine, and to ultimately be accepted.
Coming out of highschool I had accepted Christianity and I went on to getting myself way too involved and I ended up accepting all of their beliefs even before investigating them and seeing if they matched up with how I felt about life. To this day, I truly believe I went to church and accepted Christ because there was no other option, and I had my life on the line. This also caused a lot of damage to myself, and we soon found out that my presence in the church was limited as the time went on.
During my time with the Christian faith I went on to University over in New Brunswick thinking that these homosexual tendencies would stop and I could finally live a life worth living and I could finally be who I was... or who I thought I was based upon what was being told to me.
It wasn't until second year I ran into a man named Paul. I fell for him and I became really good friends with him... too good of friends to say the least. I always ask myself why I allowed myself to get too close to him, why I allowed him to come onto me and why I continued it. Things continued to unfold at the University when those who were close to me found out about who I truly was and they had pushed me away... farther than the entire campus and I was left alone defending myself while everyone had taken Paul's side in which he stated that it was all my doing... Which if I were to add ANYTHING into this (as a side note), he ended up leaving Kingswood to pursue homosexuality for over a year, and as far as I know (Which it could be different now) he is still gay.
One of my best friends, Travis, who I thought was going to be with me through thick and thin at the campus completely shut me out. He had lashed out at me and he disowned me from his life. It also turned out that he was battling with homosexuality and after graduating Kingswood University he too became homosexual and is still dating the same man... which now that I've creeped- He is currently engaged to him.
I have come to the current time. The year is 2015. Last year, literally. I knew something was going to break. I knew that seven years pushing all this biblical bullshit on my life was soon to overflow. I have seen God work in my life, and I know God is real... but I understand now that homosexuality is a REAL thing, and that it is natural. Nothing about homosexuality is wrong. There's nothing technically states. "You must not marry another man." The only place (Which is always so evident that people just google it) is from Exodus where it states, "A man shall not lay with another man like a woman." ... and that's it. They leave it there... Nothing else in their defense and then they expect you to decipher it. Yeah.... okay. Which gets me to my point. This is where, in their argument, they state. "You were straight one day, and now you're gay." When did you choose to be gay.
... When did I choose?
I was always gay. I knew that I was gay for so long... but it was society that gave me such a false impression and ultimately it scared me into being straight... lying to myself and to others about who I really felt I was, and I am just getting past the fact that there are also others that find it unnatural that I could go from dating girls to dating guys and how that is possible. My quick answer to that is; My want and need to help people extended to the ends of the earth and that has always been the case. I get way to involved into someone's life that I then feel obligated to leave. like, why would I leave this person in this state when I can help them.... Which in the end I know is bad, but I have always been like that with every relationship I have had with a girl. From Cassie, to Julie, from anyone in between I have always wanted to help those in need and those who were fighting battles of depression, anger, and other forms of pain.
In the end, I am who I am. I didn't chose to be Gay... I just was. I know who I am now and I love who I am. I would not change me for the world.